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Available now! The SMA Christmas card!
Amaze your friends by remembering to send cards this year! These high quality cards, printed on authentic biodegradable recycled wombat droppings, are only 30 quid for a pack of ten and come complete with personalised dedication inside. No speeling mistakes, either! Sensitively titled "SMAngels", these charming momentos of your membership of the SMA will be cherished by your grandchildren and their children's children's pet rat. You can't afford not to take this unique opportunity.
Click on the image to see a larger rendition, to print these cards out for posterity, or to read the bloody poem in the first place. We know you'll send us the money. Otherwise we'll come round and break your legs, mate.
Also available in a beautiful classic frame in genuine metalloplasticyucky finish! Just the thing for your private chapel or sports bar!
Brought to you by the hardworking committee (well, most of them) at the SMA. We like to blow our own trumpets.
Some have commented that, in this age of political correctness, we should not be too specific in trying to fool people into believing that Santa Claus actually exists. This is bananas, of course, because Stu saw him in Marks and Sparks once (and sat on his knee, we're told) but just to keep everybody happy, and to make sure that the committee member who thought he'd got away with it doesn't, we present ...
The SMA Snow Globe!
Only four hundred and thirty quid plus shipping and VAT (payable in ten easy installments of seventy pounds each), this wonderful souvenir of wintertime in the world we live in covers all bases! Acceptable in Muslim Mosques, Buddhist and Hindu temples, this hand-crafted item comes with built in rosary, crown of thorns, cross of Jesus and Jewish menorah! Atheists will love to shake this globe and watch the world descend into turmoil! A hidden drawer in the front of the globe contains four pounds of Semtex and five AK-47s!
This limited edition won't last long, so order yours now! In fact it'll probably fall apart tomorrow.
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